Good Christmas morning from Iowa,

I am at my niece’s house in West Branch, Iowa. I had originally intended to be here on Sunday, but weather changed those plans. So I drove on Monday and the weather was fine. When I got to Interstate 380 around Cedar Rapids, I was amazed by the number of vehicles in the ditch; there was everything from a tractor trailer on its side in the median to multiple vehicles that looked like they flipped over each other. I am glad I waited a day. Plus, I think Lydia would have had a heart attack if I was on the road that day.

Last night we went to John’s (Jennifer’s husband) parents’ house. The entire family was there, at least I think that was all of them. I think there was 15 grandchildren and then all the parents and such. It was such fun to watching all of them. It reminded me of when I was little and at my grandmother’s house. Those are such amazing memories. My grandma pulled out all the stops at Christmas. It was all about giving. I had such fun shopping for the kids. I bought coloring books and a huge box of new crayons. Then I bought clothes for them too. It was fun.

I actually woke up at 5:30 this morning. I think I was excited to see Rachael and Brandon opentheir things. I think Santa was pretty kind. They got MP3 players, clothes, games, and enough candy to probably keep a dental school in business. I had a good time buying clothes and other things. Jessica and Kimberly also got clothes. I think my niece was a little surprised that I even had a pretty good of sense of fashion saavy for an old guy.

It was fun to watch everyone last night and again this morning. It reminded me of being at my grandmother’s when I was young. . . .  it is actually now the end of the day, another Christmas. Both Brandon and Rachael had a good day at their grandfather’s. I also got to see my other niece and nephew, Vanessa and Jon. It was so much fun to hang out and watch. I am tired. I enjoyed being witht the little ones. Sometimes I am reminded of what I have missed out on and it is a little sad.

I think it is such an amazing thing to be part of a family. I am so proud of what Jennifer, my niece, does and who she is. She is a wonderful woman and an excellent wife and mother. She is understanding, wise, and intelligent. She does so much that others do not recognize. I am so fortunate to be her God-parent too. Well, more in the next day or so. I hope you had a good holiday and you are all in my thoughts.

Michael

 Hello from the desk in my office at school,

I have one more final to give and a large quantity of grading still staring me in the face. It is one of the necessary evils. I hate grading, not the looking at the papers and working through them, but assigning some sort of value to them. Particularly when it is writing. There is always something personal that the student feels when he or she looks at that grade.

The end of the semester sucks on either side of the blank stare. Technology dependent, we are at the mercy of our course delivery tool and its own peculiarities. It is much like a person I have decided: moody, inconsistent, and easily aggravated. Ha! No, it really does do a lot to make our lives easier, but I surely would not want to be one of the administrators on campus at this time. They are working hard to support us, but there is only so much they can do. There have been more times than I have fingers, and maybe toes too, that I have been timed out or just could not get it to play nicely. I know it is that we are in the middle of finals and so many people are using it.

I am hoping to be finished up by Friday, everything handed in and finished. Then I can relax for maybe three or four days and then I will turn my attention to the spring. So . . . perhaps finishing up is a misnomer at best. There is no finish; there is no beginning; there just is! But is that what life is to be about . . . the image of the hamster wheel comes to mind. Perhaps, if I did the 40 hour-a-week gig, I would find something different, but I have never actually had that sort of job, so I am not sure what I think.

It is hard to believe that Christmas is less than a week away; it is also hard to believe that it was 10 years ago this month that I was setting up hospice for my father and making all the arrangements for his funeral. That was such a crazy fall with surgeries, his Alzheimer’s Disease and ultimately his cancer diagnosis and death in a mere 6 weeks. So much has happened in that decade. Living in four states, working three or four jobs and finally being in Menomonie, and most of that happened in the first 5 years of that 10. I will be going to Iowa next week to see my niece and her kids; I am excited. She is my god-child and such an amazing person. And I adore both kids. It has been a long semester and I have learned much, even more in the last day or so.  . . . I am back . . . a student needed some assistance and it is now an hour later. I seem to have lost the train of thought I was in. Brain dead comes to mind; it is a PLR moment. They seem to happen frequently these days.

What is it we should do or should not do? Who decides? Often it is someone else that decides for us, this does not to insituate that we have no say or as I wrote last summer, we are in some deterministic soup, but often we have less to say about it than we might like. I need to head home and do more grading. I do hope this finds all of you well and I will probably write again in a day or two. While I was away for a while, I am back in the blogging mode, which is actually cathartic for me.

Until the next time.

Michael

Good evening from my office,

It was a busy day, but I am grateful for all that was accomplished. Most of the weekend was spent grading and doing school work, which is a necessity at this point in the semester. Last night late, I was looking at some news and read that Dan Fogelberg, the vocalist of the 70s and 80s, passed away from cancer. He was only 56 years old. That is only a few years older than I am. That shocked me. I remember seeing him in concert in Omaha, Nebraska. It was an acoustic concert of sorts and it was wonderful. His melodic voice and the way he created stories with his music had a profound effect on me. I had a number of his albums (yes, vinyl). So I downloaded some of his things from i-tunes last night. As I listen the songs, I am transported back to that time in my life when I listened to so much of his music. I did not realize how much I missed hearing that voice, his outstanding guitar playing and the stories that seemed to tug at my heart strings (and yes they still do). I wonder what the high school sweetheart, the subject of his song "Same Old Lang Syne" is thinking right now. It is funny that today I had a conversation with someone about high school memories.

Pondering is what I do with much of my life; I have always been the one to tried to figure out the "whys" of things. I remember friends asking me why I might be concerned with such things, but I have had this insatiable desire to understand. And so it is . . .  even today as I worked on my D2L things, I wonder why it is someone cannot figure out a better system, a way that might be both logical and efficient. I wondered why is it we go through such substantive changes in our life that things can be turned upside down seemingly in a moment? Or is it that is really is more of a process? I wonder what the purpose of life is, and not so much in some profound philosophical or metaphysical way, but rather what is it we should do each day to make that particular day something we will look back upon with a sense of accomplishment and pride.

Pondering is not a bad thing and it most certainly is a proces. I think it is the sort of critical analysis necessary if we are to make some "small profound difference." Over the weekend I said good bye to a student who has been such a joy. It is those moments that make be realize I have been exceptionally blessed. During the past two years she has worked so hard. I still remember her coming to my office over two years ago and informing me that I had to sign her add slip for my 101 class the following fall. Coming from Nepal, she had so much to learn and then on the other hand she was so far beyond the typical Stout student. She speaks five languages; she has worked extremely hard to earn her degree and now leaves for a new life in California. This past week, as the "baby girl" of the family she saw her parents for the first time in two years. At commencement, I saw other students that I had in Freshman Composition a few years ago. They have grown so much. Today another student asked me to write another letter of recommendation. She too has matured so much since I first had her in an online course two summers ago. She is going to the Netherlands (which ironically is the title of the Fogelberg album I am listening to as I type this) next semester.

This afternoon, I spent some time working on D2L issues; while the course delivery tool is frustrating and illogical, we are so fortunate to have such amazing administrators on campus. It makes it tolerable. But as I spend time with my favorite guru, I continue to ponder how it is that people enter and exit our lives. I know that I am blessed beyond measure to have such an amazing and intelligent friend. Both as a colleague and a friend, that blessing grows daily.

During the past week we had potential colleagues on campus for one of the positions. I knew a couple of them. That is a strange position, but another way that I am reminded that life continues on; indeed the reality of entering and exiting was profoundly apparent to me during the past week. As we enter the last couple days of the semester, I leave you with the words from one of Fogelberg tunes. Indeed, life is a kind of dance, so from the Nether Lands album a verse from his song "Dancing Shoes." 

Dancing shoes
Though the distances divide us
There’s a paradise inside us
We can’t lose.
Me and you
Dance a ‘pas de deux’
Forever
And I pray you never
Shed your dancing shoes.

Ponder on my friends and blessed thoughts in the days ahead!

Michael

Hello from my Living Room,

The semester, at least the regular class portion of it, has completed. It has been a long semester, and if you have been reading, beginning with the crash of the Harley. However, the semester ended up busy because of the extra responsibilities and being on committees and other meetings. They seem to never really stop. While I was supposed to be on the road more than I was during the fall, I am not complaining that such a schedule did not happen. If I look back at the year, it was a year of surprises, of learning and of growth. I guess it is that last issue that is always important. Whether it was in the vineyard, in the experience of meeting new people (in California and Wisconsin) in being involved in new things at the university, or in learning about myself, it has been a good year.

I am not sure I expected the holidays to be this way at this point in my life. I did not expect to be rather "profoundly" single at this point. I have such amazing memories of the Christmas holiday when I was small. My grandmother always hosted Christmas at her house. It was the house I lived in as a small child. On three acres of land, it has fields and hills and it was a simple house. I remember the Christmas we got a toboggan. It was one of the most amazing presents ever. We good years out of that present; I remember my brother using Johnson Paste Wax to polish the bottom of the toboggan so it would go faster.

More importantly, she taught me so much about giving without expecting in return. She pulled out all the stops for Christmas from the dinner to the tree to what she gave to everyone, and she loved doing it. I guess even though I do not have an immediate family at this point in my life, I do try to give to those who make my life so meaningful. I am so blessed to have some amazing friends, both as colleagues and in my everyday life. Over the fall I have been given such a gift of learning about both myself and to be blessed with an outstanding friend. The smiles, the smirks, the honesty and the amazing work done day in and day out as well as the class exhibited has made my life a better existence.

I think it is the humility that is one of the things makes it her such an outstanding individual. Her understanding of the course delivery tool as well as what is needed to make us as faculty able to do our job is exceptional. Likewise, her willingness to help us when we fall into the PLR category is certainly appreciated. Perhaps, what is most fun is the refreshing sense of irreverence that makes working with her so enjoyable.

When I was small, my favorite present was a new box of Crayola Crayons. Give me that and a new color book, and I was one happy camper. Now, I think I am more about what I can give others much more than what I get. I am working to do some things for my grand-niece and grand-nephew. I have some shopping to do, but it will be fun.

To all of you who have written, commented, or called, thank you. I do hope you have a blessed and safe holiday and I wish for each of you the chance to create new and lasting memories. Thanks for your friendship and to each of you, the wishes for a productive and happy new year. The picture is from my living room and the scarf is from one of my blessed SOTL colleagues

Michael