Good morning from the corner of my study,

During the summer I was often in the winery office by 6:00 a.m. or so and that is when I could get the most work done in the shortest amount of time. It has always been that way. If I get up early, before most are awake or the bustle of the day surrounds me, I am able to concentrate and organize what needs to be done and then do it. I guess there is a certain discipline in that or maybe it is one of those combinations of personality trait letters for which Myers-Briggs testing is known. I remember as a little boy (maybe two) when I lived at my grandparents’ house, I would get up before anyone was up, actually make my bed and get dressed and sit at the bottom of the steps, behind the closed door and wait for people to get up.

I have been trying to get things done for the winery for the next newsletter and on the web site. Then there is the matter of what needs to be done each day here as I try to have things as ready as humanly possible for the beginning of classes next week. It is such an exciting time, but also stressful. I have always been excited for the begnning of school, but the process is so different from this side of the blank stare. We have been working for a long time before any smiling faces are in the classroom.

As far as the sagas that were mentioned in the previous post. I have no idea what is happening at this point. I thought I had some things figured out and had decided a course of action; that, of course, went out the window when I was asked to keep trying to help. I have tried to do so, in spite of the difficulties. This has to do with the commitments that I have made. I cannot imagine just walking away. But now it has been two weeks of crossing in the mail system and wondering, worrying, and wishing.  I do not know the best next step. I literally in the dark . . . I hate the mail and I hate phones at the moment.

I guess that is when I get back to the priorities. There are those things we must do each day because they are necessary. Then there are the other things that we do because we believe they are the right thing to do. What makes something "right or appropriate"? Yesterday at a meeting someone did not like what occurred and walked out. We are all such fragile creatures in so many ways. Was what was done or said on either side "right or appropriate"? Who ultimately decides?

I guess the next two weeks will prove interesting. Between trying to get a handle on things for the winery, get a handle on the beginning of school and trying to even find the handle on my life personally will keep me pondering. The picture is of that corner in my study where I do my work. This will be the last post of the month; what an amazing month.

Thoughts for the Day

Distance and time are relative, but emotions certainly affect that relativity;
Health and Life are intricately related, but often we do not pay attention to that relationship;
Fraility and fragility are constant companions in this life we lead;
How might we let go or hold on when it is necessary? From where do we find the strength?
Relationships in our life are necessary to nurture our human spirit, but they are often frightening.
In the words of Max Ehrmann, ". . .  whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

Such an amazing thing to believe. It addresses our control or lack thereof.

I hope this finds you all well and until next time.

Michael

Good morning from the study,

I have been up since 5:00 a.m. cooking things for a departmental luncheon today. Therefore, I have yet to go into the office this morning, but that will soon change. The official beginning of the year began yesterday with both the university meeting and the college meeting. Today it is a departmental meeting and some other meetings that will help set up things for the fall. I do not mind meetings when needed, but I hate spinning wheels or people trying to seem that they have something important to say, particularly when that is clearly not the case.

The other order of the day, naturally is updating syllabi and working on getting my act together for the classes I am teaching this fall. While that is something that really never stops, at least for me, it is the time where there is certainly a concentrated effort to work on specific things. The business is a little overwhelming at times, but that is perhaps a good thing. Busy is good, as long as it is productive.

As far as the continuing sagas of personal existence. They are exactly that; I have no idea what is happening or not happening. I only know what I think and feel and that is the only thing over which I have any control. I do miss some of the things from the summer, particularly just sitting at Starbucks at the sidewalk cafe. I look at their weather and it is in the 90s every day. I miss the interaction and I miss listening to the various stories and things that are occurring. I miss the walks and the fountain and splashing in the water.

Speaking of water, more storms and rain here. I think I have heard some of the loudest thunder ever in the last couple nights. I like storms because of their power. It is a good reminder that we are for the most part much more insignificant than we want to believe; hence, my earlier comment about those who speak and think they have important things to say. Of course, then there is me writing here and believing that somehow what I say is important. Again, I best be careful.

I will try to stay current with all this. The picture today is from the weekend before Nicholle, a work colleague, and I headed out for a little Harley ride. I talked to Marco right before I left and he admonished me to be careful. Marco, I was, but had a good time too.

Best and thanks as always for reading.

Michael

Good afternoon from the office,

While technically, I am still on vacation, that reality changed some time ago. This past few days I have been trying to get a number of things squared away so the first few days of school are not so brutal. Between meetings and events and the list goes on, there is little down time. As I noted on my web page it seems like a sprint until the middle of December.

This past week, I have tried to manage a number of different things, not trying to be a control freak, but rather trying to do more than dog paddle in the deep end of the pool!! What I have learned, or been reminded, is that weather affects me quite a bit. It has rained for a week. I do not think I have seen even a glimpse of sunshine since last Thursday. However, I should not complain as we are not flooded out like many who do not live all that far away.

I have Placerville as the weather check on my CNN.com and I see how different it is there every day. I do miss that sunshine. I spent the entire morning working on my web site and updating things. I still have a lot more to do and I need to create some more photo galleries. I hope to have a very productive next few days.

It is interesting how we seem to desire the things we do not have rather than appreciate the things we do. I have struggled with that lately and I wish I could be simply content. It is not about having more things, but rather about having things figured out. Patience is certainly not always the easiest thing to maintain. Particularly, when I have no control, but learning to let things just be is not a bad lesson. As I move into the next couple weeks, the days will fly by at an amazing clip. I think there might need to be a relaxation time and a glass of good foothills wine or two to manage. Fortunately, I think I have a bottle or two.

The picture today I have entitled the "Wine Apparition". A wood bore got into a barrel and the wine sprayed onto the wall. When the barrels were moved, this is what the wall looked like. Rather bizarre!! Thank you to all of you who have comments during the summer and written about my blog. I do plan to keep writing as certain sagas in the "Life of Michael" do continue.

With thoughts and care,

 Michael

Good morning from Caribou Coffee,

This is the second time I have tried to write this. I had it completed and then my internet connection expired, so take too. It has been a long few days, but over the weekend I listened to the soundtrack of The Last Samurai a couple times. Hans Zimmer is an amazing composer, particularly in his ability to combine indigenous music with his orchestral compositions.

While I am not particularly a Tom Cruise fan, I enjoyed the above mentioned movie specifically for two reasons. First I think the cinematography was outstanding; and second, I think the way the movie seemed to respect of philosophy of the samuai was admirable. Bushido is the word for that philisophy which has seven priniciples. Principles that I believe could make us all better individuals and perhaps thereby create a better society.

I have gotten this from an internet site (I need to give credit you know!)

1. Gi: the right decision, the right attitude: perhaps this is doing what we believe to be the right thing regardless the consequences

2. Yu: bravery tinged with heroism. I am not sure about the heroism thing, I think that is in the eyes of the beholder, but to be brave enough to follow through again regardless of consequences is I what I hope I am able to do.

3. Jin: universal love, benevolence and compassion. It is hard to love others, particularly when they hurt us, but to treat others with a sense of charity and goodness, without expectation of return treatment, is certainly a good thing to which I can aspire.

4. Rei: right action–a most essential quality, courtesy; courtesy is something which is certainly lacking in this world that seems to be permeated by a sense of entitlement. Courtesy is more than words or seeming to be such, it is a general philosophy that goes much deeper. This is one of the more difficult lessons I have learned as of late.

5. Makoto: utter sincerity; truthfulness. This is certainly connected to what I just mentioned. Truthfulness is a frightening thing because it makes us vulnerable, to be sincere in all ways is, once again, something to which we can aspire. However, as with earlier notes here, it has consequences. Utter sincerity is more than words, it is following through and being as unconditional as possible.

ó. Melyo: honor and glory. Honor is much like ethos, which is part of my rhetorical education. What makes us credible, either professionally or personally? I think it is consciously asking, what is the right thing?? Glory is not something I am looking to achieve, but it is something that is given or earned.

7. Chugo: devotion, loyalty. This is something that I have been accused by more than one person of being too much of these things. But, I cannot imagine being another way. If I cannot be counted on or loyal, if my word means nothing, than I am nothing. I must admit that earlier in my life I failed miserably at times. I hope that I am beyond that and this is something I work on regularly.

What is important for the samurai is that these principles were imperatives and absolutes. While such an imperative might seem unreasonable, it is certainly no reason to not try to live by such a philosophy. I think that such an aspiration might create more wholesome individuals and as a consequence a better society.

This is my last full week of "freedom" as the contract starts next week. I am busy this week, but that business will help me manage some of the more painful things that have happened as of late. In spite of the hurt, I am fortunate to have had the opportunity to care. The pictures is of some of the flowers in my back yard. They remind me of a scene in the movie that so demonstrated the tranquility of the samurai village. May you experience some of that tranquility this week.

Thanks for reading,

Michael

Happy Weekend!!

It has been once again an interesting few days. As I noted in the last blog entry, some of those lessons learned might have some long term consequences, and that seems to be the case. It was a busy week with the aftermath of the storm and cleaning up and working on the various other projects both at school and at home. A lengthy conversation with Criss, the manager of Starbucks in Placerville, was very helpful. It is amazing how people can connnect and see bigger picture and support each other!

In the storm this week, the property suffered some significant tree loss. It is amazing how a tree that has been around for decades and survived so much can suddenly in a few moments come crashing to the ground. There were branches of substantial size hanging from about 35 feet in the air. I told the tree service if anything looked precarious that they should simply take it now.

Last night I went to one of my favorite restaurants with the 2005 Sirah Methode Ancienne. I think it has recovered from its bottle-shock. It had great fruit and some excellent clove and nutmeg complexity. While there, I had the good fortune of sitting next to two very personable ladies, whom I would eventually learn were sisters. They did move to a booth and soon after the third sister arrived. While they did have something to eat, they were much more enamoured with the coconut cream pie martinis.

They were kind enough to invite me over sometime later to join them at their booth. Suzanne, the youngest had her 14 year old son, who, btw, sacked opposing quarterbacks five times in his game that evening; she was perhaps the quietest of the three, but I have a feeling, she is certainly not shy and while she might be the youngest, she will hold her own. Patty, a professor at a school close to where I did my undergrad, was both brilliant and amusing. If her students could have seen her last night. She is certainly human. Diane was the most outspoken and extremely talented (she also has teaching skills; just ask about cherry stems!!). She seems to be the instigator. What was most fun about the experience was to observe the interaction of the three and see the synergy that occurred between them. Oh my . . . together they are both dynamic and hilarious. Under all of that was a deep abiding care and appreciation for each other.

Families are interesting phenomena; as some of you know I am an adopted person and my adopted parents are both gone. One of my biological parents is also passed away. While I have half brothers and sisters, I am very much an anomaly in my biological family, and not as much in the adopted family, but that uniqueness is still there. Most of my biological family quit high school. I am the only person in any of my families to get a college degree. Certainly, that does not make me better than any other, but it does make me different. But all that schooling and all the travel has made me a sort of solitary person. Maybe that is why I like having people around, I need to have interaction, but, on the other hand, I go home and I close the door and I am alone. It has been that way for a number of years now. I wonder if that will change; do I really want it to?? I am not sure I can answer that question as I write this.

What was so enjoyable last evening was the both the levity that encompassed that table and their ability to make those around them feel that joy. Long before I was invited to sit down, their laughter and joy was apparent throughout the restaurant. Listening to, and watching them interact was a particularly nice way to end the week. Denice . . .  the fourth sister, missed out and that is too bad. However, I am not sure the restaurant could have withstood the onslaught of all four of them. The picture is of the three infamouss sisters (l to r), Diane, Suzanne and Patty. Thanks for reading and to the three stoogettes: you rock!

Michael

Good late afternoon,

It has been a rather reflective and pensive couple days. That is a good thing perhaps. It is important to listen to wise counsel and reflect on the care that someone provides. One of my Starbuck’s cohort wrote to me and said: "Michael, we all have come to feel very strongly about you during the time you were here." That was one of the kindest things that I have heard in some time. I also got a call from a person that I have had the pleasure of knowing for about a year and a half earlier today. She is an amazing lady. She was also affirming, but admonishing, much like my cousin Diane, which is noted in an earlier entry. It is interesting how we hear exactly what we need when we need it, if we will listen. And listen is an operative word. It is certainly one thing to hear someone, it is quite another to "listen" to them.

Today was another one of those lesson learning days, which have seem to come fast and furious as of late. It is about watching, reflecting and then acting in accordance with what we have learned. That is, of course, the rub in all of those experiences that I once referred to as an AFGE, an acronym for "Another F’ing Growing Experience." HA! Life is full of them and hopefully we do not have to keep relearning, though it seems I learn slowly at times. It is that idealism again, the very thing I pondered and struggled with earlier in this summer blog.

As I am finishing the weekend, plans for the evening got changed a couple times, and I just try to roll with it. It is that commitment thing that today’s entry is titled. I try to understand the bigger picture and the complications that make all of our lives so complex, but, darn it . . .  when you make choices or decisions that affect others then you need to be accountable and honest about them. Then again, as I look back at times in my life, there are times I fell way short, so I best be careful in my righteous indignation. Otherwise I will, appropriately so, look pretty foolish. And so it is: I added an actual profile to MySpace today at the request of a former student and my Florida friend. And what the heck is up with "snowy"??

I added a song and video that I think remind me of our journey and of our human frailties: "Lightning Crashes" by Live. It is an amazing song and a haunting video. I actually wrote a paper about it in the spring. Last night, I ran into another former student at a local restaurant and it was fun to chat. I am managing to enjoy the "fruits" (literally) of the summer. Ted, your Syrah was much better than you give yourself credit for. Great nose and complex taste. I liked it!!

This week will be busy as I am trying to tie up as much as possible and get my proverbial ducks-in-a-row. I had a great summer and it was a learning experience on many levels. It continues to be so. I am sure that some of those lessons will have some long-term effects on my life, and most of that is positive. I am sure that all learning is positive. When it goes well, it is positive. When it really sucks, I am positive that I do not want to do it again!!

Thoughts for the day:

When you say you will, please just do it.
When you have to change it, please do it with decorum and grace.
When you ask for help, listen and ponder the counsel of the person you took the time to ask.
When you choose not to change your situation, realize you have made that choice.
When you have had the opportunity to receive the gift of help, do not take it for granted.
Remember we are all human and make mistakes.
Forgive readily, and demand seldomly.
Listen to the small quiet voice that often tells you what is most important.
Remember that we are all blessed in many ways by many things and sometimes even by a few people.

The picture today is looking out at the amazing nature which is in my own back yard (literally).

Thanks as always.

Michael

Good Morning,

I cannot believe that I am into the last full week of summer break (or what some people call break). I have always had working summers. Perhaps that is because if we do not work during the summer we do not get paid, and as most writing professors will tell you, working as a writing professor is not a lucrative thing. Therefore, I am finishing grading, class creating, and vineyard writing. There were a couple other chores this summer too, like two articles submitted for publication, a couple abstracts to write for conferences and such. Perhaps, I will take a day or so and be lazy sometime soon.

It is good to be back in Wisconsin as far as being in my own little house again and the green colors and haze over the morning fields. It is a very different kind of beautiful. One we often take for granted until we are away for a while. There are things in Placerville that I appreciated: the way the town has maintained its sense of history; the way that many Californians seem to take better care of themselves and also care for their environment; and, of course, the group at Starbucks. I miss those healthy low-fat Turkey Bacon, low cholesteral egg, whole-wheat breakfast sandwiches a lot.

What I am finding frustrating at the moment is the ability to stay in touch, but all-the-same feeling so distant. Of course, then there is the hours or days when one does not hear something and the mind begins to take over. I can say that I had not text messaged on the phone before this summer. And then there is my English professor background. I am OCD enough to try to do it grammatically correct about 95% of the time. Ha!

I am anxious for school to begin; when I was small it was always my favorite time of year. I was just excited with the changing of the colors and the warm afternoons and cool evenings. I was excited about my classes and seeing everyone. It is still much the same. I am always excited to see what the year has to bring. It will be a very busy year as we are searching for faculty as well as trying to keep up everything that has happened with less people here. It will not be boring.

Thoughts for the day:

What makes us okay?
people, places, things?
It has to be something more . . .
Everything else is fleeting, inconsistent, conditional.

Is it something we do or something we are?
How do we know? Is that faith?
In what or whom? How does God work in our inconsistency?
Is God really unconditional? What is that?

If I ask, will God help me understand or is that something I just want to believe?
Is there really a "secret" like the book? Is it really that secret if it is in the book?
h-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m . . . I want to wave my hands and shake my head like someone I know.

Where are you?

Thanks for the summer!!

Michael

Good Evening from Menomonie,

I am always amazed how quickly the months pass by. My father always told me that the passage of time would be quicker as I aged. He passed away almost 10 years ago and he is still getting smarter! Into the first full week of August and that means that contracts and school responsibilities are upon me. The time for delay is certainly non-existent.

My sister-in-law called me this evening and we had a great chat. She has accomplished so much since she was widowed at 25. She has some amazing children, more degrees that I do (really!!) and she is finishing a doctoral degree. She is smart and funny and one of my best friends. I told her about the summer happening and she was patient with my rambling on as always.

This morning I got up and went to church with a friend and it was very enjoyable and relaxing. It is not my regular church, and while I have some theological differences, what I heard today sounded pretty darn Lutheran. I even told the preacher that I heard that law/gospel dialectic. Ha!

I am amazed at both the fragility and resilency of life. As I have talked to people and listened, while reflecting on my own journey, I know that there is so much we take for granted. I fall into that trap every day. What I really wish is that I could remove the pain and hurt for some people and allow them to see what others see (there is that co-dependent demon), but I know that I cannot remove those things and I can only offer support, care, and love. So I am keeping the demon a little more at bay.

As I work on the various things for the fall, it is evident that the coming year will be busy (which is probably a serious type of understatement). But such is life in the academy, but then again, I do have a job and good people with whom I work. I know back in Placerville they are bottling today. I had a chance to speak with both Julie and Marco, which was very nice. I have some writing to do there as well as finish up the final grading with in the next day or so.

Well . . . it is good to be back in Wisconsin though there is a longing for some of the people and things that were in Placerville. That is always the double-edged sword of wanting to know people. I wonder how Tony is doing without his cast? I wonder about Kayla, and how the first couple weeks of marriage are going? I wonder about Dave and Marquee at Hangtown Tattoo, which was next to the Starbucks and how things are since the departure of one of the other workers. Then what about all the things that are happening here too.

Today was Lydia’s Geburtstag. Saying how old she is would be certain death, so I will not venture down that path. I took her to breakfast and then on a ride and then did some work with her in the yard and then had supper with her. I have a plethora of things on the agenda for Monday, but such it is as we prepare for another year. No wonder things zoom by . . . but I need to take the time to appreciate and know that I am okay.

My poem for the day . . .

Bottles of wine: on the table, in the racks, in the fridge, and in the drawers
Bottles of wine: each with a story
Bottles of wine: creating memories
Bottles of wine: pinot grigio, viognier, petite sirah, zinfandel
Bottles of wine: given as a gift, sent as luggage
Bottles of wine: describe my summer
Bottles of wine: taste, smell, savor and love,
each with a story and a memory of what was and what might be.

Thanks for reading. The picture is looking out across the lake behind my house.

Michael

Good afternoon from Menomonie,

I am a little over 72 hours back from my summer journeys. There is a certain "augury of loneliness" that has taken over. While it is so nice to be back among the cornfields, the amazing green, and the familiar smells, I miss people that I had the good fortune of meeting while out in the foothills. As I have noted before, what is it that gives a person a "sense of place"? I talked to my cousin, Diane, who I was able who have lunch with one day. She admonished me, my in her mother’s June-Cleaver-way to move on and not try to take care. There is a lot of truth in her concern.

As everyone has heard of the incident, the collapse of the bridge over the Mississippi in Minneapolis has made me think about some things. When I was a seminary student in St. Paul, Susan, my first wife, worked in downtown Minneapolis that the road was a common thoroughfare in our daily travels. How strange!!

I have been finishing grading most of the day and that will probably take me most of the night. I want to have grades in by noon tomorrow. Then there are a couple other major school related items on the agenda over the weekend. That is common and there is always something to do.

I have appreciated some of your comments on the blog as well as your reading and sending emails. It has been fun to write and I think  I will continue to do so.

Best to each of you.

Good Morning from Menomonie,

As the driving continued yesterday, in 28 hours the path took me from the border of Utah and Wyoming to my little house on Park Circle in Menomonie. A stop in the Black Hills at Crazy Horse and Mt. Rushmore were the evening activities and then it was road tripping all night to get to the lush and green fields of Wisconsin. I think it is the color that is so different and striking that I noticed most of all.

Yesterday morning traveling across Interstate 90, the humidity hung on the fields and yet, while I could feel that dampness in the air, it was such a beautiful change in color from the foothills of the Sierras.

Today will be a catch up and get organized day. I took a three hour nap yesterday afternoon, but  then I was up and doing things until almost midnight last night. I woke up at 5:15 which was the same time I would be awake in CA, but remember there is two hours difference, so while it is light already, it is really only about 4:30 a.m. as I write this.

More in a day or so after I get squared away. I will be posting a number of new photos on Facebook before the end of the day. The picture today is my driveway and the house. I took the Harley for a cruise last night.

I miss the smiling faces in Starbucks on Main in Placerville. The last visit there was an interesting one and ended up with some unexpected activity, but it was nice to be there to help. I am certainly missing the group: Gretchen and Taylor, Tony (who should have got his cast off yesterday) and his daughter Ty, Ray and Roy, two definite characters, Marque and Dave from the tattoo parlor next door, and, Ann and Camden, which, of course, is another story in an of itself.

Thanks,

Michael